Do you love the ice cream truck? Oh my golly wow! I can sooo remember EVERY summer getting so silly with excitement when I would hear the bells and whistles of that man and his truck filled with sweetness. And ya’ know…all that sugar was not always good for me (or any of us really!)
That is how I get when real learning shows up in front of me!! It makes me giddy with excitement and a wee bit of fearful as I enthusiastically leap into its arms for a wild experience.
AND, that is exactly what happened a few weeks ago…..
I emphatically said, “NO!”
Her idea was not in my plans, my vision, or the way I saw our mornings to be mapped out.
And, just as I let that word fly out of my mouth, I saw everything that mattered deflate. Her eyes, her mouth, her head, and her body. I sunk deep too because I knew, her heart went numb from the aftermath of my fear injected authority.
The girl, who lives with all brothers, wanted to experience the life of girls. The girl maybe even needed it as part of her learning, her evolving, and her growth-induced next step. Her request was not monumental. Actually, it was pretty ordinary.
“Mom,” she asked, “Can you take me to my friend’s house in the morning so I can go to school with her?”
We are habitually hardwired to work from a logical, make sense operation called our brain when making decisions. And, that is exactly what I did that moment when she made her request known to me. My response from my head was automatically negative
You see, the girl is a twin. I have another child, a boy, her same age. So, my head was putting that logic puzzle together linking reasons why it was not a good decision.
· I already drive to school.
· Why would I leave the house early to drive you over to a friend’s house?
· There is not enough time in the morning.
· This just makes no sense.
My reasoning was good, and accurate, and so missing the point.
Our responsibility is not to educate the child but to awaken the child to his/her eternal self.” – Tara Singh
Once again, my child was teaching me how to consciously rise up and take note of her and what mattered. Love wins. Every. Single. Time. We just have to allow it.
I took a step back and asked for help in making a decision that was honorable for both of us.
And the universe replied with this…
Shortly after this experience with the girl and her request that seemed illogical yet defining, I went to visit my good friend, JWB. He literally enlightens me every time with such beauty and reverence for tuning in to the good stuff and a whole bunch of good laughs!
He began to tell me a story…his story…AND boy did it seem very similar to my story. I absolutely love it when the universe sends us mirroring experiences so we can connect, chat and conclude together how to rise up and live more consciously!!
JWB has a dog, Blu, who had been not acting inappropriately. You get that right?
His dog was doodoo-ing all over the house…well, actually peeing all over the house. This made JWB so not happy!! He did what any loving parent would do…he began to search for the reasons why this behavior was occurring. He found many interesting facts about health, old age, and maybe even temperament.
Regardless of the reasons, his response to his dog’s behavior was soooo like mine with the girl requesting to change up the morning routine. And, our reactions to our messy business was equally enlightening. After we shared a bit of laughter at our dilemmas, he gave me my gift!
I asked what he was going to do about Blu and reminded him he needed to love her no matter what. That is when he showed up for me and shared his resolve –
First. He stopped. He looked at me with arms in the air, and spoke, “I surrender.”
Next. He smiled and waved his arms into the air upward and gracefully went on, “I turn it over.”
Lastly. His arms went outward, he bowed slightly toward the floor and delivered, “I accept.”
In that very present filled moment of luster, my heart leaped!! I got my answer!! I knew what I needed to do with the girl.
§ TURN IT OVER
What a gift his story was for me that day!
Trusting in the flow of life means trusting in experiences that come in to it; trusting in the infinite wisdom that can be woven into small moments of sharing; and trusting that I am not the only one with a vision for us. In that ever-present moment, I knew that God was watching out for us and for the girl.
I went home and allowed her to go to her friend’s house.
I get up early twice a week and drive her to a girlfriend’s house simply so she can connect to her heart in a very girly type way. I allow our morning routine to look different. I allow her to get her needs met. And I allow love to be our guiding force in every experience.
The situation makes no logical sense. It really does cause of bit of inconvenience on those mornings. It is a bunch of extra work. It is a bit unnerving to give up control and allow another family to embrace her needs. AND it is loving, accommodating to her growth, and totally making us stronger as a family.
Do you have a burning desire or a question from a loved one and your response has been an emphatic NO?
What if you decided to try JWB’s 3 step process for conquering love when the experience seems otherwise?
At the heart of it, allowing love to win is all about giving up the short term for the big kahuna vision. We are all in this together! Every one of us just wants to be accepted, seen, and loved for who we are. THIS is why things work out well and why things can fall apart in a split second.
I went back to the girl and apologized for deciding from fear (owning our stuff is important), and gave her the freedom to decide for herself what she needed. I honored her knowing because it is vital for her success in life to know who she is in all moments. I surrendered my way and gave it to God. I trusted that he knows what he is doing with us and her. I accepted as it is.
AND…weeks later…we are all good here!! Well maybe not so much JWB and his dog, Blu! We shall see how Blu does once his parent shows him love. I bet love will win!!
I DARE YOU! Let love win. Surrender. Turn it over. Accept. Allow something bigger to embrace your heart and show you the way.