The doppelganger hides in the shadow

dop – pel – gang – er

The double of a living person.

In our truest sense, we think of doppelgangers as our double, yet not in any biological understanding.

What about the ego doppelganger?

The ego is very much of our personality and controls much of the narrative that determines our choices, our behaviors, and even how we show up in relationships. 

Within the psyche is a mechanism for safeguarding, like a security system, and the ego operates this system. The unconscious mind is the home of the ego and where your narratives reside. This security system has been in place as it protects you and helps to navigate a social world.  Up to the age of 8 years old, this security system is birthed from patterns centered around the identity of a collective organization.  Family, culture, school, religion, and neighborhood are all representative of the organizations which help to mold our very nature.

As a young person beginning to learn to navigate a very social society with all of its rules, regulations, and structures, the personality evolves through a series of attachments.  The personality makes its way from year to year making decisions based upon the ego safeguarding the attachment: 

“This is good.”  

“This may not be the best.” 

“This is who we are.” 

“This is how we do things.”

“This cannot be.”

“This is not allowed here.”

If these attachments to people, structure, rules, etc. fit the personality that is developing and given the opportunity to experiment in a healthy manner, the young person develops a foundation that is secure and oriented toward continual growth. 

Not all personalities are given opportunities to fully embrace the spectrum of attachment faculties while experimenting with a wide range of health and well-being.  In these cases, a double becomes evident and acts in a controlling or manipulative way. 

If we think about an individual acting in a behavior pattern that seems consistent with control, manipulation, lower vibration, and energy-sucking, this would be in direct contrast to how the soul of an individual can relate. 

As we see often in the world of narcissism, there seems to be an ego-doppelganger. The individual looks like whom we know, yet acts in a rigid pattern refusing to consciously choose the well-being of all involved.

In my experience, those of us who wish to live fully outside any organized structure will be confused by the defense mechanism of the ego-doppelganger.

There are few options to interact with this form of behavior pattern.

  • Completely ignore. Honestly, I do not know of any human with a sensible layer of emotional agency who can ignore the energetic vibration of such controlling behavior. In my experience, the individual bypasses their own self as a form of self-defense.
  • Limited interaction. While this creates space for breathability, it seems to have an adverse effect on the individual. More layering is required to put protective measures in place to keep the doppelganger at a distance.  This begins to create a false sense of self in the individual who is working overtime to limit interaction.
  • No contact. The ego-doppelganger chooses to live in a control pattern according to a strict set of rules and regulations. As there is little space for the relationship to grow and evolve, this puts undue limitations on the individual who seeks freedom and peace. The stress of navigating tightly gripped rules and authority begins to change the regulatory system of the mind-body thereby less flow of life force energy. 

To free the body, one must free the mind.  The mind can only be free when it can clear the inputs. Once the mind tries to make sense of or process, the ego narrative will always safeguard any threat.  The body is the truest one to trust. 

Many humans would never drink poison, yet we allow poisonous behavior to infiltrate our mind-body system. 

As you consider healthy relationships where both parties are conscious and take responsibility for thoughts, actions, and choices, conduct a life scan. Where are you engaging with an ego-doppelganger? 

Be clear about your desire. 

We don’t change people.  At the heart of it, human beings are pure in spirit and have a heart of soul.  Much of what society defines as toxic, unhealthy, and less appealing is due in part to the pattern of behavior unconsciously projected onto whoever is attached as a means of self-identity.  

The ego as a doppelganger is a metaphor for deeply accepting the human spirit as a conscious soul able to behave with loving kindness.  When behavior from the ones we love and care for takes on the persona of someone unrecognizable, an unconscious pattern has hijacked the freedom of the conscious state of mind.

Everyone has free will and yet we imprison our choices by staying true and attached to the doppelganger.

Every relationship is a mirror of who you are, who you can be, and where you are developing. 

Look in the mirror of your relationships, what do you see?

Is the relationship aligned with the heart and soul of who you are or are you loving the ego-doppelganger?

Can you brave an edge a bit more?

Consider how you authenticate yourself in relationships, is your partnership with you or your ego-doppelganger?

Related Blogs

How the longing for just one more keeps us from the present moment The art of archetypal coaching