Back in the day when I worked in the school system, I mentored educators on a variety of topics and themes related to teaching and learning. One of my favorite things to do was work with a teacher to change behavior…both theirs and the student. It was so much fun for me to guide them to manipulate the environment in a way that would bring about an entirely different behavioral response. It was so inspiring for all of us.
I remember one year I worked with a 2nd grade teacher who had a challenging group of students. Their on task behavior was not as independent as the teacher had hoped it would be. This was January of the school year and she had taught long enough to know that her students should have been farther along in being able to handle working independently. This class was not.
We worked on many ideas and strategies for changing those students’ behavior. One of the things we would offer to the teacher and students was a way to remember the steps we were working on. We would give them a paper clip, a note card, or another small object to hold in their pocket. This served as an anchor to remind them to act in an appropriate manner in order to elicit the appropriate response.
Our brain is wired for recall when a tangible object serves as the trigger to that memory.
BAM! This is it!!
What if, in our everyday life, we used this idea to aid us in prosperity and abundance when life rolls out one of our triggers?
I mean we are always triggered by people who annoy us (ok…that’s a big lesson); by past experiences that had an effect on us; and by uncharted situations designed to expedite us forward. Our human body is designed to remember. Recall is needed to influence what you do next, and next, and next.
There are two aspects of our brain: the conscious part and the sub-conscious part. We think we let go of an event, a person or an experience because we consciously decided and took action accordingly to ensure we create space around it. For instance, we no longer hang out with the person who triggers us negatively, we no longer attend the event that does not brings us happiness, and we erase the experience that hurt us deeply from our heart. The challenge is our sub-conscious brain tracks our emotions surrounding people, events, and experiences. It does so in order that we learn what is truly needed. This encoding process allows for us to deepen understanding, grow in ways needed for our best life, and keep us protected from harm.
There is a balance between the two that allows a sense of freedom. We tend to not always experience this balance because we do not allow ourselves the openness to be fully expressive of what emotions we are experiencing. Feelings are initial reactions to a person, place or thing. If our body, mind and soul determine a feeling does not “feel good”, we tend to forego the allowance for that feeling to flow through us. This causes a knot to form and that knot gives way to your subconscious to emotionally emerge as a reminder every time you access a triggered moment.
Danielle LaPorte writes, “Desire leads the way home.”
And true desire is a manifestation of your feelings and emotions. When we allow our feelings to be guiding forces toward our desire instead of inhibiting extremities, we draw near a sense of truth, abundance, prosperity, growth and potential. And having ALL of that is what ultimately fuels your desire to be your reality.
Here’s an example –
The other day I got an email from someone from my past. The simple mention of a name in that email got my body all worked up. It was like I was catapulted back in time to the very moment of that experience. I could feel it. I could recall every detail. I could hear every sound. I could see everything. AND I remembered the way I felt and how my body did not want to feel like that again. You know what I’m talking about, right?
In the midst of me realizing that the email and the name dropping was the trigger for my memory to launch into overdrive, I put myself in timeout. Lovely as it was to just sit and ponder. Those few minutes of shutting down allowed my body to live that moment again and this time own it to release it.
Glennon Doyle Melton once talked about in her book, Carry On Warrior, that a crisis is a gift. She wrote, “ As Kathleen Norris reminds us, the Greek root of the word crisis is “to sift” as in, to shake out the excesses and leave only what’s important. That’s what crises do. They shake things up until we are forced to hold on to only what matters most. The rest falls away.”
While my email may not be a crises in many eyes, it sure did bring about a triggered reaction. That reaction assimilated the crisis feeling from before. The important thing to remember here is that for a trigger to have that natural reaction means that more learning, a deeper understanding and a release was still needed around the person and the past event, as well as for me to become clear about how I wanted to feel and how that would translate to my deep desire for peace.
And that is where the sifting process is so influential to our healthy mind, body, heart and soul. We need a good shake up every now and then in order to keep releasing all the leftovers that simply are not good for us.
The million dollar question is…how do we move forward?
BAM!! That’s where the reminder proves to be a valuable inspiration.
What if we took LOVE with us?
Most of the time when we are triggered, we have fear in our back pocket that we pull out. Most of the time when someone annoys us, we mask up honoring that fear within us. And most of the time when challenges arise (which they always do), fear is our 1st weapon we grab.
What if we took LOVE with us?
It might look like this…
We get triggered or a challenging situation appears. We breathe a VERY long full inhale and a slow deep exhale. And we ask (out loud or silently) – what would LOVE do in this moment?
I can almost guarantee that if you ask that question and are willing to surrender to its possibilities for what will come next, you will be awe-mazed, joy-filled, and truly happier than you thought possible.
What would love do?
You might even keep a reminder in your pocket or purse. Something like…
- a picture
- a heart shaped trinket
- a rose quartz crystal
- rose essential oils
- a pink or red string
Believe me, this is a powerful companion. Every moment we are confronted with life, the real physical human life here on Earth. And, if you are like me, you want heaven on Earth as much as I do. So many times, in these moments, we give our power away to wishful thinking with little to no action to support it, to fear thinking and fear actions, and to a wealth of low level icky-ness and unnecessary ways of behaving. I know because I’ve been there and I still let myself go there. I also know I can now recognize that it does not feel good.
What would love do?
Think about it:
· If you are cleaning out a cabinet of collectibles and find yourself pondering if you should get rid of or not, what would love do? LOVE is FREEING.
· If you are working with your child to get them to make a decision or change a risky action, what would love do? LOVE believes in ALL THINGS and that ALL THINGS are POSSIBLE.
· If you are fighting and battling a contractor during a house renovation, what would love do? LOVE SEES ALL SIDES and is UNDERSTANDING.
· If you are meeting with folks who are negative and grumpy, what would love do? LOVE is PATIENT. LOVE is KIND.
This is the start. The next step when you awaken each day. The beginning to consciously living a lifestyle with love at the core. And it is a tool for every single moment you find yourself triggered by a person, an event or an experience.
What would love do?
Oh the possibilities are endless!! Let’s find out…together!!!