Are you like me and love watching your kids perform, play sports, dance, swim, etc?
I sooo do!!!
In those moments when they are on the field, I get such joy watching them rely upon their SELF and using their inner gifts. I have to admit, there have been times when those given gifts weren’t so pretty to watch. You know what I mean right?
My oldest is a Senior and he has played football since he was in 5th grade. I LOVE watching him play any sport – baseball, soccer and, of course, football. He has such a drive on the field and that is a part of his personality that literally brings me joy to see in action. Off the field it can drive me a bit crazy loopy at times.
He gave up football during his junior year. My hubby and I were sad to hear he didn’t want to play any more. We have always welcomed our children’s decision making skills and certainly would never make them play a sport they were not willing to do. So, that year I let go of my yearning to watch him on the field.
Interestingly, the yearning did not leave my heart. I really wanted to watch my kid play football on the field.
Football is such a big sport and a celebration in our community on Friday nights. Each Friday night of that school year I yearned for him to be on the field. I’m embarrassed to tell you that I even caught myself in the closet with some of my wishes – “Oh please let him play again. That kid needs to be on the field playing. “
So, you can imagine my elation when he came to us in the spring of his junior year and shared he was thinking of playing his senior year. I was overjoyed. I just new this would be so good for all of us.
Here’s the part I didn’t tell you earlier. The last part of my closet prayer to God was – “I really want to watch my kid play on the field. We are a football family!”
Have you ever prayed those kind of prayers? I really think we, as parents, find ourselves praying those prayers quite often. Let me tell you the anxiety and worry that sets in during the waiting period following those kind of prayers is not good for us. We need calm and peaceful sensations. These are the best for us to be in the flow raising our children with a heart-centered approach. AND these kind of moments require us to trust! Trust the universe (or God, or Buddha, or your higher power) and trust the process called life. There is no speeding through life in hopes of gaining a better spot, a more important position, etc. Our lives will always give us exactly what we need……IF….WE….CAN….TRUST….IT….TO…DO….SO!!!
I get it! Trusting is challenge as a parent. It requires us to let go and surrender our thoughts, our knowing, our actions, and our experiences. We have to throw away worry, anxiety and fear. Surrender forces us to be still in all moments and in all experiences. I personally think surrender feels like being naked in the grocery store. I mean literally standing in an aisle (or even the veggie section), naked, no thoughts, no reactions, only observing. Well, of course, also being appreciative for what is right in front of you in that moment.
In the final hour, oldest son told us he did not want to play football his senior year. I was crushed and I understood his thinking. I got it! He explained it very well and had compelling reasons. This was our first part of trusting. Trusting our children that when they tell us how they think and feel, we simply believe them. We may not always agree with their choices. We do have to honor their thinking and decision making (it is part of their journey and evolution of self).
I remember sitting with my bummed out heart. I also remember as I did, I felt a hugging sensation…..that’s my symbol for knowing life will work out for my good and the good of all involved. Our life supports us if we are aligned to our heart-center. As I sat in my bed after he told us his decision, I surrendered. Yep! I got naked! I took off my clothes of wanting, I removed my wishing, and I sat in appreciation for what was in front of me. My kid made a valuable decision for himself. My kid felt confident in his thinking and ideas. My kid felt loved and valued because I listened. My kid tuned in to his higher self because he listened to his heart and his parents, my husband and I, supported his decision. It was actually a beautiful soul filled dialogue. As tears of joy slowly rolled out of my eyes, I saw son become his own best SELF.
And, within the gift of that moment, I got naked. I gave it all up to God! In that moment, I silently shook my head and faintly mouthed to God, “Thank you for helping me see this differently. Son needed this moment of decision making to elevate his SELF. I know it is not about me. I trust you to bring my family joy-filled moments in all our experiences.”
When we surrender our knowing and our wanting as parents, we give life to who our children are to be and need to be. That day that I got naked and sat with my bummed out heart was a gift. The present of that moment would not be delivered for a bunch of months later. Love inspired us all on that day!
Flash forward 3 months and I received the exact closet prayer I asked for…..I WAS SITTING IN THE FOOTBALL STADIUM AND WATCHING MY SON PLAY FOOTBALL!!!!
The son I was watching was son #2. He worked hard in the off-season and earned himself a spot as starting center. He played every game and I watched with joy every game. It was pure love and joy AND, of course, appreciation for my closet prayer to God. He listened and gave a much bigger gift than what was anticipated. Son #2 and his team went all season with only 1 loss and ended up winning the class 6 state championship.
It still brings me tears of pure heartfelt joy and love –
· for watching my son play football and work so hard to do something for himself!!
· for that feeling of connection our family had as we watched each of his games and those championship games were awe-mazing!!
· for the satisfaction my older son had as he watched his brother with pride and knowing in his heart…..he made the right decision for him!!
· for God and the gifts he continues to provide our family!!
“Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment…Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life – and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you.” -Eckhart Tolle
At the heart of it, what matters is the valuable learning we each received from this experience. Each of the sons gained a bit more understanding about who they are and learned to trust their inner guidance for what to do and what not to do. I learned to get naked in those critical moments when I realize it cannot be about my personal wishes and me. I also learned my role as a parent is to allow my children to know what is on the inside and allow them opportunities to make decisions that support their SELF. AND…..trusting God (or your higher power) will ALWAYS bring good to all!!!! That is the peaceful and calm kind of praying I am practicing.
I DARE YOU – Today, get naked! Surrender some aspect and watch the good that comes to all involved. Give your children the space to learn about their SELF. Appreciate the gifts in front of you in all moments with your families!!
You can reach Kristi at firstname.lastname@example.org
Comments and questions are welcome.
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