Where is the love?

If you’ve followed me for any time at all, you know that hearts have been showing up for me for many, many years. They have been my anchor to what is important and my lifeline to staying in alignment with my heart and soul. (I’m winking at the play on words here!)

That’s why the other day was a bit interesting when this heart showed up.

I was having lunch with my son and his best friend. It was the day before we were to leave to take him to college. His best friend. Was not leaving for another week or so.

This was unlike any of our other meals together as we had shared many moments just like this one. It felt heavy and thick and maybe a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our spiral of emotions. Happy. Sad. Scared.Uncomfortable. Excited. Nervous.

As the mom, and the leader of this crew, I let all of the emotions be with us at any table gathering. They are invited guests in our family. We may not always handle them with respect and honor, but we sure do allow them with love and grace.
As my meal was served to me. I noticed my wafer cookie was delivered on a silver platter (well not really…just a white plate). It sure did feel like a silver platter because it felt so majestic as it was set in front of me.

The “cookie” was square. Yes, it represented exactly as we were feeling. A bit “square”. Out of the ordinary and totally unknown as to what the next few years would bring for all of us.

The heart of the cookie – the middle – was just that. It was in the shape of a heart with raspberry jam.

Not only was this little bundle of joy filled with such yumminess. It overjoyed me that in this very moment, the love showed up.

And it got me thinking.

This heart was not showing up to remind me that this was exactly where I needed to be. I had been establishing my presence in such moments for quite some time and was pretty good at being in the current bubble with little to no distractions.

This heart showed up in a much deeper commitment to what is truly the matter at hand in all experiences.’

We have a choice to welcome the love always available or allow the wicked understudy of fear.

Love or fear? Each is always available in any moment, within any experience, and from any other human being.

I won’t tell you a glory story that choosing love is so simple because it is not. Sometimes we are faced with fear is not an option AND love is hard.

My lunch with my son and his best friend proved that. It would have been easy to focus on the quietness of our maneuvers, the awkward silences, the tears that were in our eyes each time we went to talk , and rumbling of uncharted emotions. Why? Because each of these were whirling around us like a tornado on a crisp warm day.

The heart reminded me (and us) that in this very hard and challenging moment, choose love. Choose the memory of fun and laughter. Make that your conversation. Choose thankfulness. Make that your starting point. Choose love again and again and again.

How do you choose love?


In any moment when your mind is chattering, ask your heart, “Where is the love?” And. Then. Adventure in that moment to find it.

  • As we were sitting there together, I began to laugh about silly situations that had happened between them over the last year. Small smiles came. We were choosing love. Amidst our sadness and uncharted territory, we were choosing love.
  • As we were sitting there together, I began to comment about my coffee and their coffee. I mean, honey, I am always grateful for anything coffee! One of them followed with another thankful insight. We were choosing love. Amidst our unknown future and the anxiousness it brought, we were choosing love again.
  • As we were sitting there together, we kept choosing love again and again and again. We beat the odds. In our silence and in our fears, we had more loving moments. Love won!

We did our part. We looked for it within the pain. We looked for it when suffering would have been a much easier inhabitant. No battle. No war. Just allowing those fears to be with us in our time of the tornado of emotions while nitpicking the love in very infantile ways.

The momentum of love is what kept us going. The choosing again and again and again became the lifeline to the heart of it.

What mattered was not being present (although one cannot be aware of their choices and choose wisely if not present.). What mattered was that, in that moment, we took action. We took action with love as the fuel of inspiration and motivation.

We pulled the weeds of fear-full emotions and found the beauty.

You can do this as well. In any moment that appears full of challenges, uncharted adventure or a misfit to your daily experiences, follow these 3 actions:

#1 – Rise above

You have to be willing to elevate so you can see your garden of fear and love. Only when you can witness the array of emotions that you are experiencing can you choose the beauty of love. This means when those icky feelings of fear come visit you allow them with grace and without judgement. Nothing about have any feelings is ever wrong or bad. Feelings are your natural rhythm, the music of your whole self. They let you know how your intention is being interpreted in that moment. And, all of it can be intended differently. You get to have a choose over to choose again. Holy shift! Let it happen!

#2 – Pray

Let your intention be known to those working on your behalf. Who is working with you? God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Angels and Archangels, the Masters of the Universe, your loved ones. And the energy of love. These are your people. These are your tribe. Talk to them. Ask for what you need. Ask for a better choice. Many times our spur of the moment choice is nothing but a pattern of behavior. And sweetheart, behavior is changeable…always! Change up by talking up exactly what you want. Say, “Thank you _____ (plug in who you are speaking to) for assisting me in choosing again. I choose again.”

#3 – Open

Open your heart so that your people, your tribe and your love can work its magic. So often we close our heart off to the miracle of a shift in perception because we think we are safeguarding and protecting our wholeness. Our heart is the strongest muscle within our body. It has a natural tendency to withstand being broken and beat again. Our heart knows how to choose again and it does so every. single. day. So open up. Allow love to work for you. Allow its beauty to shine amongst all those weedy emotions.

Where is the love?

It’s here and now in every one of your momentous adventures, in every one of your precious moments, and in every one of your heartfelt endeavors. Look for it! It’s there!

As the good witch told Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, “It was always there with you.”



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