Try this one way to live well


I noticed EVERYTHING wrong!  I was on a train riding down the BooHoo track.  Been on that one lately?  We all do it…..

You know –

The faucet leaked.

The kids left clothes and shoes all over the floor.

No one cleaned up after they ate.

The internet was running slow.

I didn’t sleep well the night before.

Someone left the toilet seat up.

The printer shut down in the middle of printing a document I needed.

Ever have one of those days…weeks….months…..years….

It is so easy for us to get triggered unconsciously.

Easy?  YES!!!

In our human body experience, our lives move on the fast track.  The day can fly by.  We seem to wake up and next thing we know the kids are home from school.  Blink and we find ourselves cooking dinner (or in my case driving my kids to practice).

In our fast pace world, it is easy to forget and lose track of the most sacred aspect of living well.  Taking care of who we are is the ONLY method for living well and living from higher consciousness.

Higher consciousness is a big word that means paying attention and exercising our decision-making abilities in each and every experience within our day.  We have free will to make a choice whether to see what is not working OR to see what is working.  Living well is about daily surrendering to appreciation for what is working.

The other day, I got tripped up in a power play with my life.  I thought I could control and handle the outcomes, the work, the motivation and the inspiration.  Actually, I was doing pretty good getting things off my TODO list, completing the tasks at hand, and connecting with my kids.  The problem?

I forgot about ME!!!

I was doing for everyone and everything else.  In some way I was distracted by my own insecurity to go sit still with myself.  I forgot that finding a few moments to connect with ME is living well with higher consciousness.  I was triggered by my need for the perfect image of “WE GOT THIS”

Have you ever roasted marshmallows over a fire pit?  I LOVE roasted marshmallows!  When you push that stick into the fire, have you noticed it does not take but a second for the white puff of nothing to light up bright and bold?  That is exactly what happens to us when we do not slow down.  In a split second we ignite our fear, our worry, our anxiety and our exhaustion…because like a marshmallow, we have been stuck into an open fire.

That open fire includes the needs of everyone else, the agreements we have made with others, the items that need to get done and the image we have learned to live up to.  They seduce our human self into believing the “neediness” of others and other things give us status.  The seduction of this false power leaves us feeling depleted and energy drained.

What fuels our driving force to do more for everyone and everything else and less for us?   It is our shadow beliefs.

Shadow beliefs are these thoughts or ideas hidden deep within our psyche.  They powerfully manifest each move, each decision, and often each non-self behavior.  We are not always conscious of them.  We have to excavate them from our hidden minds to uncover reasons for our thought patterns and behavior trends.

For me, my shadow belief was about working hard and getting it ALL done, living that perfect image, and taking care of me first was viewed as selfish.


The chains of crabbiness were suffocating my heart from beating well.  The anger and resentment kept creeping their ugliness onto moments that could have been joyful.  And, for me, it wasn’t until blood work came back and showed my body was shutting down from the exhaustion of living not well that catapulted me into a journey for ME.

“Home is the birthplace of shadow beliefs.” – Oprah

Home is not your house.  Home is not your family.

Home is YOU.

It is how you see…..feel…..think…..and believe…..about  yourself

A typical day for me at one point was to wake up early (like I’m talking 3-4 AM) to grade papers, answer emails, write a blog, respond to my coaching and consulting clients and maybe clean the kitchen.  I got ready for work and left the house.  Oh…in the midst of all that I was helping the 4 kids and hubby get out the door for school and work.  Off to work I went answering phone calls in the car and sometimes typing text messages.  (I KNOW…..not a totally proud moment)  On a good day, I was able to get to the gym for a short workout.  Not many good days…..I seemed to get caught in always running late trying to do too much.  Hit the door to the house with vengeance to task away all the running kids to practices, figuring out dinner, occasionally talking to a friend, head to a meeting for one of the many things I volunteered for and back home around 7 or 8ish.  Grab some food if I hadn’t snagged food earlier (like take a container of something with me for the driving expedition that occurred frequently.)  On a peaceful night, I was able to crawl into bed around 10:00ish after I wrestled and battled my twins to get in bed.

Thinking back to those days, my heart instantly goes to a beat that could keep up with any horse competing at the Kentucky Derby!

There was something euphoric about getting it all done and, in some way, I liked the feeling of getting it all done.  BUT……my body did not.  I was literally running it into the ground.  I forgot to add that I drank very little water, lived on caffeinated coffee each day to keep the adrenaline pumped in high gear.  And a glass of wine at night did nothing to calm me down for a good night’s rest.

Our bodies are our best guides.  Our bodies tell us what we are too afraid to be still and hear.  Our bodies will halt our life in an instant forcing us to open our ears, our hearts and our minds to a dreamier possibility.

Are you ready to listen?

Listening is powerful.

Listening is what ignites our hearts on fire.  Listening is our inner marshmallow….it softens us, it warms our soul, it melts us into love and joy filled moments.

“The first duty of love is to listen.”  -Paul Tillich

Taking care of our SELF is an act of love.  Actions of love, for the good of who we are, is one way we live well.  These behaviors set the intention for our life that we care enough, we want enough, we desire enough to have good for our life.  More importantly, we release a message to the world that we care enough, we want enough, and we desire enough to have good for ALL life.

“love and honor of our SELF is also  love and honor to EVERY human.”

At the heart of it, how we care and listen to our bodies, our minds, our spirits, and our souls determines how we do the very same for another human.  It starts with us.  All change begins within oneself.

Caring for our SELF is an inside job.  We must become warriors and be willing to battle our inner shadow beliefs, our inner belittling experiences, our inner drama.  We must become a loving embrace for our SELF to thrive.

Acts of love for our SELF is a power trip to take this year.  Take a vacation from what is no longer working and relax in caring for YOU!!

I DARE YOU – Today, give your SELF acts of love.  Today, stop trying to do it all and do less.  Today, do more for YOU.  Today, listen in love to what your heart, your mind, your spirit and your soul need.  Today, live well!



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