I’m softening. It scares me. I don’t like it.
When you immerse yourself in water, whether it be an ocean, a pool or a bathtub, the skin softens and becomes porous.
To remove toxins. To allow the cleansing to clear out all waste that could potentially cause harm to the layer of security that keeps the body intact and whole.
The very same process happens as a seed begins to sprout.
It becomes soft and flexible so that growth can occur.
Many years ago when I taught third grade, we observed the process of a seed to flower. Think of this flow as something that moves from being locked in place with a hard shell to an ornately beautiful potential that completely looks not like it did before.
Transformation is the remembering of that true self you had hidden in the shell of a secure protective matter and the breaking free of the pattern that simply keeps you not showing your magnificence of your whole being to the world around you.
You desire to know your purpose?
It’s you. You are your purpose.
You desire to know what to do next?
It’s you. You choosing you in every decision.
We must soften, feel the scared, and maybe even not like it, for our true potential to be of beauty. The seed cannot become a gorgeous flower without breaking open. The very same goes for the caterpillar inside the tightly safe and warm cocoon. It cannot fly free as the masterpiece of a butterfly if it does not shed some blood from allowing the softness to open itself up. And, if you have ever seen an egg come undone to free the baby chick, there is the cracking open that also includes the bloody membrane as the chick is releasing.
There is always work involved in becoming the free and infinite potential of your true being.
It is in the softening that we can experience a vast array of emotions.
We all know something has to change when you rebuild, remodel, and change a situation or experience. Think about it, even when you lose weight, you have to change your clothes to ones that fit. Are you with me?
The big question is….
Why do we have resistance to change?
I have worked with many clients who even know they need to make changes and let thoughts and beliefs go, believe the changes would make for a better life experience, and deeply desire for the freedom to live in a more fulfilling and authentic way.
The curiosity still remains.
Why do we have resistance to change?
The answer is quite simple. It’s a mind-made determination that proceeds everything we do and how we act and behave in the world.
Plato said, “Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge.”
AND all of these features are controlled by the mind. The mind has to release the desire which gives freedom to the heart to behave in the exact way to create the desire. The mind emotes a thought that allows the body to experience the emotion that sends an energetic frequency out into the world at large. Knowledge is, in and of itself, a mind-made act of taking in ideas, constructs, and definitions and deciding to hold on to them as fact.
So, you see these mind-made acts either free us up to live our true potential or they keep us locked in cycles that perpetuate the prisoner mentality.
Freedom doesn’t come because we want it badly enough. Freedom comes by way of seeing the truth of who we are and the totality of our full expression. It often is a learned meta-morphing that offers the tools and wisdom to be able to amplify the expression of our true self.
Meta – in a Greek translation – means among, with or after (according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary).
Meta – in a Hebrew translation – means is dead (according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary).
In both of these translations, something goes away in appearance.
According to Wikipedia, the term – morph – means causing changes from one image to another through a process.
Transformation is the process of shedding the layers that need to go away so that one can change into an image or form that is desirable. Each of us has a true self that desires to be seen, heard and to belong to the amplification of full expression.
Resistance is the friend or playmate of the transformation process. Resistance shows you where you are holding on to ideas, beliefs, and constructs that no longer offer you the freedom to be your true self. Resistance displays the anchors that imprison you to old and stale ways that no longer afford you growth. Resistance presents glimpses of what is possible and the potential of the true self to live freely and fully.
We hold on because fear is what scares us the most.
We fear death. We fear the going away. We fear the after.
The mirrored emotion to fear is not trusting or even love, although mainstream society might have conditioned us to believe that as truth and I have even spoken that as well years ago. The opposite of fear is nothing.
Feeling nothing is the frozen space we become imprisoned in when we operate in resistance for too long. This is a conditioned response to experiences, people and life that, for a period of time, did not feel safe to explore and be authentic. Frozen in a cycle that perpetuates a nothingness – the feeling of nothing. This is a training we have given ourselves so that we do not have to risk the inevitable hurt and pain that was once felt and administered by others in our environments. Frozen is the space where resistance belongs and this perpetuates the cycle.
We stay in the frozen resistance because it feels safe and comfortable. We have built lived experiences around feeling this way as a safeguard to misery.
Fear does not keep us static and resisting change. Fear is a meta-morphing emotion. It requires we do something that looks and acts differently than before the fear set in. Fear is fluid and its form changes us instantly.
Fear is what scares us the most because it is an invitation and a welcoming that lures you into its captivity. It is a force that cannot be battled. Fear comes to us and summons our true self to choose its truth.
Within the remembering of transformation, we learn to build a relationship with fear. It becomes a special union orchestrated on its own accord. The harmony fear manufactures is a sweet sound to an intense awareness. Fear opens us to the didactical dissonance that morphs into a natural duality to notice the contrast. A requirement in choosing. Fear speaks in a narrative that comes from deep within the tongues of lived experiences so that choosing the operative language pattern will lead one to the path. A path is required for choosing.
Fear is a prerequisite for choosing.
Carl Jung said, “You do not get to transformation without emotion.”
What we fear is the emotions we have hidden, rejected and denied. To feel is the essence of living. Many of us have created personas around bypassing the emotions that are deeply held in our bones.
The true self has no ability to choose when it is cycling in a loop of shadowed emotions. Fear is a gateway to the welcoming of all that has been left behind. As fear opens us to the masterpiece of our own beauty, we soften.
Caterpillars cannot fly as they are anchored with mass that keeps them grounded. Being frozen in that such anchor that keeps you in the same place living the same patterns.
The opening of the cocoon gives the butterfly the abundant nature to glide through the air with reverence for choosing fear as a doorway to possibility.
We can’t experience what is possible without feeling the fear of the unknown and choosing to go the path as well. By welcoming fear along the way, we administer a guidance that will show us what we must see in order to keep choosing the exact right next action. Fear inspires us to choose our true selves again and again.
Fear has to be planted within your heart to be carried into every lived experience for you to remember your true self. Transformation does not occur without the seed of fear.
What if you befriended fear and harmonized your growth (and transformation) taking fear along with you?
What would be possible if fear lead you home?